requiem

2009-03-27T12:49:00.000+08:00

im here now

2009-02-24T03:47:00.002+08:00

one week without school is pure bliss!
thats the reason why i am up at 3.50am blogging when usually i would be chionging something or knocked out while chionging something because school would be in 4 hours' time.

had an interesting night with chew maine and wenqi crowding out my room. it was quite insane and i came close to killing them for lying on my bed in outside clothes and messing my place up. but it was cool too, just sitting around in the odd hours of the morning and talking life over. this is what it means to do life together man. through testing and through seasons in our walk with God, we share it all, go through it all, grow through it all..

i've been thinking a lot about myself and God is just speaking to me about a time of testing coming in my life. it's time for me to grow up in many areas. i'm not a youth anymore, one more year and i will be entering into the early stages of being an adult.
what do i believe in in my life?what do i live by?

i'm still thinkin' about it yo.
(:

what i do now, what i choose, is going to define me for the rest of my life.

it would be crazy to trade this life for anything. just plain crazy. i love it too much, i love it all too much. increasingly i'm beginning to see, that despite the disappointments and discouragements, the ups and downs and the emotional rollercoaster; there is no other option in my life. this is what i want to do until i'm old and wrinkled.

yea. i'm sure of it now. this is what i want to do, there's no other option.

i'm going to grow to that level, hang on to those dreams and convictions.

2009-02-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

i just got back from a nice long jog around yishun.
It feels good to run again.. been such a long time man! I have concluded that the best runing parter on your ipod are The TingTings. It's quite funny running to their songs.

well, i feel super good now. if only i could find the time to do this every day.

right now i'm contemplating eating my dinner because it will just about destroy any purpose my run had. hahah.

life is sweet!
people are sweet!
had a great time shopping with jiajia & cheryl. they're so amazing... i love the shirt they bought for me. they're so amazing i really go to blog about them!
when jiajia and cheryl first stepped into church, they were just blur and didn't really care about God. they had their own problems and their own lives.
but now look at them.
one of them wants to be an usher head and a CGL. the other wants to grow hougang sec to 25 people and more, just like northbrooks.
every time i see them in their black shirts and shoes (so cute!) i cant help but feel happy.
this is what it's all about man. God changing lives of young people.

they've caught the heart of our church.
i believe they will ten times ten times better than our generation!

i was just looking through attendance and the numbers. i felt my faith leak a little but it'a alright.
because i know a new strength is coming into the cg. with quality, there will be quantity.
we will grow. i can feel it.

okays! thats enough rambling frm me today. hahas.
i still got a workplan to do and write ups to write.
time for a nice warm bath.

gdnight & gdbye.

2009-01-15T03:06:00.004+08:00

photos to tell what has been happening in my life the past few months.

i am totally addicted to Augustana!
This has to be the most beautiful song ever written by someone who doesn't know God...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnqvjD7Kxs4

sweet!

ok im gonna try and revive my blog.
its been pretty busy lately.. apparently the Nov-Dec rush has poured over to Jan even.
i'm excited by all the new people coming in and by how great they are. it makes my day sharing things with Oli and hanging out with Jiajia and Cheryl.. sweet. I love it. I love them.

Been pretty exciting reading my bible. I never knew how cool God's word is... and every time I open it I just get something fresh in my life. It's cool! If you're behind in BRP.. catch up soon. God really speaks to us through the bible. Can't tell you how cool it is until you experience it yourself.

Things have been happening in school... I know I'm not the biggest fan of school, but i think this term would be better than last! haha. I'm definitely gonna be more hardworking.. but I think i've grown these past few months. And I'm different every time i go back to school after a holiday. I like it that way.

God is just amazing.. in so many ways. I cant imagine doing life without Him and without great people around me.
So thankful that Zhiyi exists in my life. haha.. he's just amazing man. Never fails to impress me and encourage me.
So thankful for great leaders in life who always teach me new things, always impart something to me. It's cool just hanging around them.
So thankful for great Pastors. 'Nuff said (: Pastors need no introduction, accolades or exhortation. They are amazing just the way they are.

I really honestly believe that this generation can be changed by the love and power of God.
I really honestly believe that every life in heart of God church will become a testimony to God's power and love.
I really honestly believe our CG will grow to become strong spiritually, a CG of people with conviction, totally in love with things of God.
I really honestly believe.
I see 20 strong people.
I see people's lives changed.

You'll never know love till you know Jesus (:

oh my it 3am already.

NO BAD NEWS, PEOPLE !

2009-01-08T11:34:00.002+08:00

its 2009 and finally i am blogging and reviving my blog from eternal decay and condemnation.
lol.

actually im just bored because SCHOOL HAS STARTED and i'm sitting in a lecture i'm sure i've heard at least 5 times before.
the fact that i slept at 5am isnt helping because i just feel like sleeping even more !

well, i really dont know what to blog because like i said, so many things happen within a short span of time i dont know where to start.
suffice to say, the past two months have been a time of growth for me... growing as a leader, as a Christians, to love people more and love God the most.
i see things differently, i Feel things differently and i do things differently.
now with the grind of school in place, it's getting harder but i believe i will grow stronger.
im determined to do well this year! and be a good student (HAHA :/)

I just want to say that i have amazing Pastors and leaders, and an amazing team around me, running with me, inspiring me and loving me
its just amazing, the flow and ethos between us.
im always so in awe of Pastors and leaders... i feel like i have so much to grow into.

ahh. i cant wait for CG outing on fri!
ikea meatballs here i come ^^

2008-12-03T00:09:00.005+08:00

I learnt some new things today, thus I shall blog. haha.

TIPS ON HOW TO BE A BIMBO
By See Ting Wei

Quote 1:
"When it's raining, everyone should go home!'
(dont ask me why, i dont know either =/)

Quote 2:
"To avoid getting stuck in crowds, you should stand still and wait for everyone to walk past you!"
(hmm..i wonder how long that will take?)

Quote 3:
"When you fall on the escalator, a mere "whoa" or "ah" is not enough. Say a very loud "WHOOOOO" and then complain about how bad your shoes are!"
(you have no idea how embarassing this was...)

Quote 4:
" BIM-BWOH is the real way to say Bimbo!"

Quote 5:
TW: "I want a burberry phone too!"
Fe: "Burberry phone....? OH. you mean blackberry."

Quote 6:
"You know the chocolate Toblerone? I pronounce it as TOH-BLEH-RON."
(oh goodness...)

Quote 7:
"Why don't we just watch the 4.30 movie so that it ends at 5.30?"
(find me one movie that's only an hour long..)

and yes chew, you may C & P this :)

2008-11-19T10:36:00.002+08:00

JiaJia! : - JUNIOR BAND'08! <3 Thanks people! } (jia_jia95@hotmail.com)
MSN
10:33
EH!
10:33
dunt nonsense lor.
10:33
you know hor, so irritating leh.. my ahma say jj de voice like ahgua.

fedorawr 20 fo 40! Growth & strength. flying high!
MSN
10:33
HAHAHAHAH
10:33
cheena pok

JiaJia! : - JUNIOR BAND'08! <3 Thanks people! } (jia_jia95@hotmail.com)
MSN
10:33
-.-
10:33
neh you.
10:33
he cute lor..

fedorawr 20 fo 40! Growth & strength. flying high!
MSN
10:34
hahaha
10:34
to a cheena pok
10:34
whats a neh?

JiaJia! : - JUNIOR BAND'08! <3 Thanks people! } (jia_jia95@hotmail.com)
MSN
10:34
tsk tsk tsk.
10:34
erm..
10:34
erm read as the fourth pronounciation.
10:34
from the hanyu pinyin.
10:35
lol.. you understand.

fedorawr 20 fo 40! Growth & strength. flying high!
MSN
10:35
HAHAHA WLAO EH
10:35
so retarded

I wonder how many of you actually counted to the 4th sound.hahahah.
i find this really funny. maybe cos jiajia is that funny.

man, i'm so happy school is over.
now i have the luxury of more time. more time with God, more time with my people.
yesterday was a great way to start my holidays. i spent a whole day walking around orchard with Joy, talking nonsense and just sharing things. it was sweet!

after that headed to AMK to surprise Chermaine with a present. Sadly, on our way up, we met her. well it was still a surprise anyway! the look on her face was priceless. it was worth everything in the world in that second.

im happy to be back, doing what im doing and just being with people again. school was such a restriction. now im free and flying high (:
i believe greater things are yet to come. more things are to be learnt and changed.
im gonna build the foundations again. im gonna build my own foundations again.

whoa, exciting!

2008-10-26T08:50:00.001+08:00

blogpost from london!
why am i blogging now? Cos I have the time and I'm excited about the photos I took.
I miss SG food man.
Ok, preview of the past few days :D
the prodigal camera returned to me...
(on a sidenote, london is amazing. i've really learned so much)

2008-09-26T21:33:00.003+08:00

PHOTO SPAM :D

How i love my life!

2008-09-24T01:44:00.002+08:00

A bold colour stands out from the rest.
We make font bold to emphasize the point.
Life makes way for the bold person.
Fortune favors the bold, the brave, the courageous.
The small vision fails to motivate.
The vision that takes breath away, that'll capture attention.

Boldness is not bold unless we laugh on the edge of our nervous boundaries.
Bold is Winston Churchill standing on the rooftops of London yelling defiance to Hitler whilst bombs rained down on the city around him.

Be bold, be strong, for the Lord your God is with you! (Joshua 1:9)

-Pst Phil Pringle

well i'm finally updating!
there are so many amazing things happening i dont know where to start.
i just know, now is the crucial time, now is the turning point. either we grow and we build ourselves strong, or we don't and we go back to being mediocre again.
Faith in God is what we need, faith and success.

my heart cries for a radicalism in every single person in this church, in this zone.
back to the days of giving it all for God, of finding ways where there are none, of doing crazy things because we are crazily in love with Him.
we need that radicalism back in our hearts.

its about a generation, a new generation, a pure and holy generation.
it's about changing this generation.

God, i pray for divine opportunities.
God, i pray for growth - myself and the people around me.
God,

it's all about the lives You're gonna change.
come on,build this dream with me. build this dream with our Pastors!

i miss ivan!!

2008-08-25T17:06:00.002+08:00

ok so im not the most faithful blogger in the world.
haha.

well, i'm in school now and i just finished lessons and had some lunch a while ago. im supposed to be working but i dont feel like right now hahaha.
chatting with jiajia online and i just uncovered some interesting info from her. hahaaha. we are both laughing together now!

past few weeks has been just a blast.
b40 is really growing. with great people like LIMJIAJIA bringing like 5 trucks of friends and good people who keep coming back like KENGIE SOHH and Joy we're sure to grow. yeah, i believe in revival for hougang sec. i believe that 20 is easy.
growth is easy!

i've learnt many things about how to teach people things, and i've seen how at times i need to put aside emotions and let love come up instead. i will make things happen even when nothing is happening!

New people need to rise up... a fresh wave with a fresh anointing. More leaders in this house.

too many things have happened luh, over the past weeks.
suffice to say, we are growing, i am learning and God has been faithful in all aspects (:

thats all for now!
i better get to work.

2008-08-07T18:27:00.002+08:00

school has started! it's costing me a lot of money and that kind of annoys me.
so far these are the stuff i've had to get:

chest for keeping paints safely - $68
sketchbook - $15
pen knife - $2.75
Georgian oils - $21.40 + $22.50
acrylic paper A3 - $13.16
oil brushes - $8.76
huge bag - $47.90 (my current one broke)

stuff i still need to get:

cabinet - $64 (i need it and i'm going to save and pay for it myself cos i refuse to take money from my dad!)
more oil brushes - $20
white acrylic - $3.35
photographs to be printed - $4
canvas - $6
gesso -$?
stretcher -$?

it's expensive being an art student. i think i should really try my best to buy the cheapest stuff around. at least then i'll stop sapping money from my parents. roar. expensive...
haha.
okay so school has been tiring. it saps my energy!
today is the first day i'm still alive at the end of a school day, and today has been the most productive one so far.
i have been living on 3 hours of sleep and i think i'm getting used to this.
odd sleeping hours is not problem...
school just feels so weird right now.

it's the people, the atmosphere, the way things are done, the spirit of the whole place.
it's so different. i feel frustrated and uneasy in school even though there's nothing wrong. it's strange i think, and maybe i'm thinking too much but hey.
i really miss church. i can't wait to go tomorrow. i'm gonna really plan to go for more prayer meetings next week, maybe the 8-9 ones.
just standing in church makes me feel at ease. it feels like a weight has been lifted off me when i'm there.
school... its pulling me down. i like the new place, the new course, the people are nice.
but there's just something that bothers me... there's not point of contact. i feel like i'm in a different world and i'm fighting every day to remain strong in my values and who i am and the God i love.

we are the difference we want to make. us. it starts with us.
I had a revelation recently on the power of our purpose in God.
Jesus says we are the light of the world, salt of the earth. If we lose our flavour, what use is there? If we hide our light, who will see God in this time of darkness?
It's our job to bring God to the nations. We are to glorify Him in all that we do ...
the light and th salt.

that's what i have to be. that's what i want to be.
idealistic, passionate, convicted and Christ-like.

wash it off in His presence.

2008-07-26T02:36:00.002+08:00

it's the first time in ages i am blogging, but hey i am (:
i cut my hair after a 5 months of not doing it... alright, so it was 6 months but well. heh. jacky did a good job. i like the back of my head.

there's such a great burden on my heart..
our CG needs to be a team.
was watching Remembering the Titans today with Ivan and the rest of the leaders. i love how they were a team - a real, solid team, who stuck through the hard times and the good times together. Who were a team in camp and a team when the whole world was against them.
The leadership of Gerry Bertier was exactly the kind of leadership that inspires people.. to take that first step of faith and be the one to pull the whole team together...
just like what Ivan's email said, loving the work you do, even if it's difficult or it's tiring.

i'm so set on building this CG.
i'm so set on growing B40.
we will grow... i know we will. i can see it. i will not be discouraged.
i'm going to build the foundations, build a team that not just plays to win, but plays with love, with integrity, with loyalty and with tenacity.
20 for 40.
i see it. lives getting changed by the power of God.

at the end of the day, it all comes back to Him.

i love the work that i'm doing. it's not just a job to me, not just the motion but every life is a life that has the potential to be used by God for amazing things - an uncut diamond.

i so love Dark Knight. it's a movie we all gotta watch as a CG. yeah man, next week lets go! haha.
the first good movie i've watched in a long time - it's a reflection of true courage and paying the price.
alrights, it's getting late. i shall leave with the last lines of Dark Knight to mark the end of my post (:

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...
And so we'll hunt him, because he can take it.
Because he's not a hero.
He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight. "

2008-07-15T02:11:00.002+08:00

okay so, this is just a random post thats incredibly random but hey i realised some really random things.
i went blogsurfing a while because.. i don't know why. haha. it was a random urge. i realised something really interesting.
the difference between value systems are so glaring when you actually observe things and people. and the way they talk and how they see things.
Pastor Lia said something really funny during discipleship class... about how the world thinks we're wasting time but we think they're wasting time too. irony? i think it's more than that. it's about the values in our lives that are different.

they say, party at the club baby. we say, party when that soul gets saved.
they say, money and fame and glory. we say, money and fame and glory for Him, to Him, because of Him.
they say, don't waste your time on something that doesn't give you anything back. we say, what we do give us more than anything this world could give us.
they say, God who? God where? We say, God there, don't you see Him in the sunrise and the rainbow painted across the sky?

it's weird because people are always telling us that we are stupid fools and we should really be
"focusing on your studies and make it big. thats all that matters."
"thinking about your future, your job."
"a student first, a christian later."

value system!
what matters more... seeing souls saved or climbing that ladder to all the riches in the world?
i would rather die knowing one life was changed because of God working through me,
than live a fulfilling life of wealth and status and power, but dying on a cold hospital bed, unloved, unremembered, just another rich person to add to the death toll.
yea, it frustrates me sometimes why people think we are such idiots...
there's more than just ourselves to care about!
there's a world out there that needs a change.

haha okay. i wonder why i'm feeling this so strongly but yeah, i am.
can really see Pastors' heart and what they believe in.. and i so love it. i so want to be just like them. i know it's not easy but that's all i ask for... to be just like my Pastors.
they are just so amazing.

haha ok i think im gonna turn in soon.. if not i will be even more sick when i wake up in the morning and my nose will never stop running.

gdnight & gdbye

2008-07-09T14:11:00.002+08:00

Let's build this church, this CG, together - For God, for people.
Love God, love people, love life.
Simplicity, Substance, Sonship.

Titus 1:7-9 (New King James Version)

7 For a bishop^[a] must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, 8 but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, 9 holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.

2008-06-20T03:00:00.002+08:00

woah-oh-oh.
so many new things are coming your way, and you just dont know it, but i do! hahahah.
okay so i'm a bit high its 3am and i just finished prepping all the stuff for CG tmr. oh wait, i havent done my intro

(disappears for 5min)

ok, im back. hahah. tmr is gonna be so awesome man, i totally can't wait for that sweet presence of God to come. yeah, it's SWEET, our B4. we rock :)

my mind has ceased to work in any real order but hey thats ok cos its 3am. haha.
dropped by nadine's house earlier (or later) today to do YA and her bed is the bounciest thing i ever sat on.
i'm excited by everything and how its all coming to pass. it amazes and even scares me a little. but what charleston told us is exactly whats been on my mind... sometimes we gotta just get thrown out there and let the fight come out inside of us! thats how we grow.

i learnt one thing today - DONT BE A GU NIANG! lol.

oh my gosh, its another day of sentosa tmr. its gonna be total nonsense i bet. 10am at harbourfront! why is everything so far from yishun sometimes. hahahhs.

roarr. im officially 18 in abt a wk's time. thats pretty frightening.
God, i pray for a cg guitarist. woah-oh-oh.

gdnight & gdbye

2008-06-11T01:35:00.005+08:00

you so gotta check out THE TING TINGSLOL total funniness. when we walk in topshop, we discover the future of indie music and a creative cheer that we could possibly use for zone stayover.

They call me ‘hell’
They call me ‘Stacey’
They call me ‘her’
They call me ‘Jane’
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name

They call me ‘quiet girl’
But i’m a riot
Maybe ‘Joleisa’
Always the same
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name
That’s not my name

hahahahah. go ting tings, you're officially b4's adopted indie band. let's pray until you get saved. then it'll be; Maybe 'Jesus', Always the same, That's His name, That's His name ;)

ok so,

i promise to blog, because i haven't updated in something close to forever.
today was such a cool day, i can't believe it.
a whole bunch of crazy, shy people crashed my house, and we watched Shutter. horror movie after like 1 year of not watching them... hahaha. But i'd watched it before to the thrill was slightly dulled. Maybe i can try a more hardcore one next time... lol. yea i'm sure.

after that was a very long journey through a maze of hdb flats to wensong's house. felt like a mario game. we appeared outside his door at 11pm and he looked so completely shocked, that moment was priceless.. but it was even better watching his face light up in pleasant surprise. yeahh! that was such a sweet moment.
we surprised mel too, who was aunty-ish and studying for her exam tomorrow. hahah. it was pretty funny too.. had a nice long talk before i headed home and prayed for my 857 to arrive with seats and travel time of 20 min. i find myself home in 1/2 an hour... God can give my bus wings even whoo hoo :D

anyway, conference with Ivan brought faith to any part of me that lacked it.... this morning's quiet time was powerful beyond powerful. haven't felt such a tangible presence of God, assurance, faith. yea. something has to change. something in our spirit.
25 25 25 25 -
95 95 95 -
see it !
proclaim it. creative power in our words.

hahaha suddenly many random ppl are asking me to help print workplans. its kinda funny.
CTSS is featured for Schools seminar. super happy for xinchi!
a dream that comes to pass...

yeah, this wk, attendance will be even better. lives will be changed.
stayover is soon soon sooon.... wahahahahahhhhs.
so many exciting crazy things happening.

I FINALLY LINKED EVERYONE UPPPPP :D

2008-05-29T01:00:00.003+08:00

well
like 10 days later and i finally blog again, just to show i'm not dead on my blog yet. haha.
let me tell you, disney songs are the absolute coolest things right now. lol. every ops crew should know the chorus to Hakuna Matata. its mandatory.

okay what am i talking about? for once im not so sure.
i just had 4 days of myriad emotions and things happening out of nowhere, being thrown at me. and i think sometimes its just crazy how so many crazy things can happen at one time. but i find increasingly that its just God being His usual self challenging me beyond what i know. and yeah, its cool that He does it cos then, i find myself conquering. and conquering is always good. always . hahahs.

i miss pastors... its been so long since i've last seen them.

i have to say this. i really have to... i have amazing leaders!
i can't imagine my life without them. i can't imagine going through all the things i go through without them there. they just rock.. Charleston, Ivan, Sam...
they just love us so much.

woahhoho, camp's tomorrow and i still haven't come close to packing yet. i'm unfortunately rather inefficient. i should start soon yea? yeah. hahahas.
i cant wait for it! hanging out with younger people has made me feel VERY VERY OLD. but its all good cos theyre funny and fun and awesome! :D
hmmmm.

okay i have come to the end of the blogpost cos im kinda out of things to blog about LOL.
my mind stopped functioning 5 hours ago. its running on orange juice XD

gdnight & gdbye

2008-05-19T03:26:00.002+08:00

okay so, i'm at wenqi's house and it's 3.27am and i'm still not sleep.
cos i decided to blog. haha. randomly and for no particular reason.
honestly i'm kinda tired but i don't know why i'm still here blogging!
well, its been an eventful few days. got so many emotions its impossible to describe everything fully.
im just constantly amazed at God's faithfulness in my life. and watching lives change around me, people catching that dna that makes us so uniquely heart of God is just the sweetest experience in the whole world. its what really keeps me going sometimes when i wake up in the morning and think of all the things i have to do.

my heart's cry? (:
it cries out to be more like the man and woman of God - my Pastors.
it cries to get the same anointing that Charleston, Ivan and Samantha carries.
it cries to watch the power of God turn lives 360 degrees around.
it cries to give my best to a service and create a platform for Pastors and the presence of God.
it cries to see revival in the schools.

is it too much to desire? i dont think so man!

i think that sometimes frustration helps us to grow in our love for people even more. to just put everything aside and say hey, at the end of it all, its not about me and how i feel, but what really pleases Him.

hmm, thoughts at wee hours of the morning? hahaha.

this is really a season of stretching. i think its exactly how Pastor put it. you can never really get a hold of God.
ever since that one day that the vision came back into my heart... God's never let me rest since. its level after level, molding after molding, experience to experience. Constantly under pressure, constantly learning how to deal with it. there is no comfort zone, just space to be stretched and grow more in Him.
its really a journey.

I remember a long time ago I was listening to a sermon by Pst Phil Pringle. he said that God takes your heart and stretches it.... and stretches it and you cry out,No God! stop! and He replies, Just a little more... and continues to stretch every time you think you're gonna give up. And when at last He lets go, your heart is so big and stretchable that you can cover almost anything with it.
Beautiful picture eh? Elastic heart ahhaah.
well, i want to be a spiritual rubber band (:

God keeps bringing the word of the season back into my mind.
Speak with boldness and wisdom, and people will know that I have been with Him.
2 things in my life i need to get right;
character- faith, boldness, wisdom
spiritual- hunger, worship, anointing
its the season, the season for growth.

jiaen, dee, zee.
we're gonna make a great team.
the foundation of generations. let's dream (:

2008-05-10T00:46:00.003+08:00

man this is so random. haha, just realised that my blog looks kinda sad without any photos, so up they go!

today was such an amazing day.. it was a great worship session with zhiyi and jiaen. it's on thing to encounter God, and another thing altogether to encounter God together. it's sweet! lol. so happy and proud of zhiyi... he's grown so much since just a month ago when he first came.

speaking of which, i've come to the realisation that time is passing incredibly fast.
Red Rain is coming in like 2 weeks time!
What's Red Rain?
gosh, you're so out of it if you don't know. it's only the coolest, chic-est, freshest rock band with a sound for a new generation. check it out.
http://www.redrain.sg

i went rollerblading for the first time in my life on monday. yes, i so need to talk about that... lol. i still can't rollerblade, but its ok. despite falling down like half the time, it was fun. haha. sam, wendy and weiling are all super funny. and wendy must have been quite stressed trying to teach me. oh well, sweet (:
my toe is swelling! it hurts! i dont know why!
halfway through blading, my lecturer calls me up and tells me i've got interview on wednesday... myriad emotions man, really. but the interview went well, i felt. it's really by the grace of God that it all worked out.

every day is like learning something new about God, getting one step closer to Him.

lol, was just thinking random thoughts just now.
its gonna be so funny seeing bx in school in aug. totally weird.
im looking forward to finearts (:
i just realised another thing.
i will be seeing koonyew alot too o.O

hahhha, thats a good thing to me .
friends are the best things in the world,
(other than Jesus, and paddlepop)

2008-04-30T12:22:00.002+08:00

Acts 4:13 (New King James Version)

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Name of Jesus Forbidden

13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

--

as i read about you more and more, i want to be like you, because you were like Him.
how cryptic can i get?
it's been great spending time with You, i couldn't ask for more.
it's like You're constantly doing things to me that i don't understand, but i bet i will someday..
right now, the mistakes and pitfalls of the past seems so foolish and stupid. life is only You -- beyond the ministry, the work, the planning, the character, the discipleship, the pains and the hurts and the hardships; the joys and the satisfactions and the love.
in the end it's just about You, coming back to You.

i want to be like Peter.
i may have denied the only truth, but i want to be used by You again.
i want to be part of that rock your church is built on.
i want people to see my boldness, know that i am untrained and uneducated, and know that i have been with You.

after Your own heart, beating with every beat, living in wisdom, seeing in the supernatural (supernatural highway). always faithful, always loyal, always fighting.
for the rest to turn, it starts with us.

wow.
i so need to tell sam about all this hahaha.

2008-04-25T12:14:00.002+08:00

things are finally settling down!
it's that after-exam feeling you get, when you know that you'll never need to do work again. never need to step into school again.. (:
it's called FREEDOM.

then again, the strangeness of how i've actually finished a year in lasalle, of how everything is just ending like that, abruptly and clinically. it's kind of weird. but still, i can rest assured int he fact that i lived through foundation year in lasalle. seems to have some odd satisfaction about it. even though i don't feel too good about it, i will just pray and trust God to give me the best.

can you imagine the great surprise of receiving 3 smses from 3 great guys when you're chionging your work the night before and you're tired like anything? it was sweet, so sweet, henderson-industrial-park sweet. zhiyi, darren, bx. God really moves in their lives. i am amazed at how the little things matter so much.

it's even sweeter when people call you up after your assessment, trying to find out how you did, kan cheong for you... noel and elyn!

and all the other random people who have had to bear with my crankiness in one way or another, haha, alton, michelle yao, colin, SAMANTHAA!

how can i not talk about SAM!
hehe. well lets just say that without her there to always listen to me and encourage me and help me. . . it's unthinkable. i really love sam (:

well, a good way to spend my first day of freedom was to go find zhiyi at TP with sam.. should i mention how good tp food is? good and cheap. when's lasalle gonna get the idea? haha. anyway, followed sam back to church, did some work in office while sam did hers, got stressed out by Colin, but with good reason. Managed to finish up the effects template though, which is a good thing.

Suddenly got reminded of Jianming's sharing about usher ministry and al the process, of everything he shared. so amazed by the level usher is at. even more inspired, that effects HAS to go to the next level. it HAS to. i really just want to tell colin all these but i haven't found the time. meaning i should sms him soon.
haha.

OH NO Its almost 12.30

okay, shall prepare to gout with MARMEE and pack my clothes.
(:

2008-04-22T04:42:00.002+08:00

it's 4.43 am.
i am this close to KO-ing on my laptop. *makes space with finger and thumb*
i will not chiong projects ever again T.T
and all alone too. hahahaha.
God, pls help me pass. I really need to pass.

right now, i'm a little scared.
but.
i will do my best, give my best, pray and have faith and attack everything that's in front of me right now.
come on, just until wednesday and this will all be over.
i know He's on my side.

*takes a deep breath*

Work I've done:
1. 2/3 canvases
2. 2/2 digital pieces
3. 3/9 collages

Work left:
1. 1/3 canvas
2. Printing
3. 6/9 collages
4. Touch up drawings
5. Touch up canvases
5. Sketchbooks
6. Small canvas

i have a feeling it will be impossible to sleep tomorrow. haha.
oh well.

i'm gonna go pray, because i really need it right now.
if not, i think i might lost my mind!
and then, sleep (:

gd morning, gd bye

2008-04-19T00:10:00.002+08:00

i just came home from another great day.

i had dinner with Yassy on Wednesday, and with Charleston today. What more can anyone ask for man? lol.
i feel so privileged and touched by how great our leaders are.. and all the more our Pastors must be just like them, or even more amazing. Well they learn from the Best (:
For Yassy and Charleston to take time out from their super busy schedules to just have a dinner with us, pay for all our food.. i really feel loved beyond loved. I'm sure that their time is very precious to them, and they were willing to spend it with us.
Even more than that, they would take out time to tell each of us personally what's our next point in our walk with God, to encourage us, to get to know us.
It felt so good to just sit and listen to the man and woman of God. Learnt so many things... felt so loved and so encouraged by them.

Pastors and leaders in this church, they're the best ever. They're extra mile people. They're incredible. they're the best friends, best spiritual parents, best spiritual leaders in the world. I wouldn't trade anything for them. I would never!

That's right, I'm keeping th vision in front of me. I want to support my leaders and hold the burden and run with them, for them, for God. I want to catch the same anointing and faith and passion they have.

it's really 2.0.

Colin shared with us so many cool things. I'm so inspired and challenged and encouraged by him. The ministry has a direction and a vision now. It's gonna be awesome, so awesome. Bx, Evonne, lets rise up and hold effects together. Let's bring this ministry up to a new level. Let's serve God with all our hearts.

at the end of the day, I wanna give God my best in all that I do. even if i am tired and i'm stressed and i'm on the verge of crashing. i will give my best to Him !
simplicity simplicity.
i want to continue living a genuine christian life.

2008-04-10T02:01:00.002+08:00

okay so, im actually blogging twice in a week. haha. i am amazed.
today was such a cool day. actually, these past few days have been such cool days.
movie and dinner with Ivan and the leaders was so different from just any dinner... we learn things and have fun at the same time. Seeing how Ivan lives, how Ivan works, that's pretty cool too. and i gotta say, chongpang nasi lemak is awesome man. it's seriously something God must have created for man. And the tauhuey.. heavenly!

have been hanging out with evonne and ame alot too. they're really quite special. dzone and bzone seem to be so different in style and flow and anointing, but we all have that common something that holds us together. that mutual feeling of knowing what the other is thinking, seeing the same viewpoints. a flow withing a flow. hahas. sweet.
its different, seeing what other zones are like.

how can i not talk about michelle yao and my lunch wuth her. lol. it was sweet too. it was like an hour of time stolen from a day to just enjoy the company of someone you've been through almost everything in life together with. totally same heart, same flow, same thinking... same love for God and same tenacity to keep pressing on. it's been too long since i've had a talk with her..

been such a powerful few days. Christian and Colin both shared really cool stuf about ministry and taking our ministires to the next level, and it's all so vivid and poignant and fresh with anointing. it fills us with new vision. such great leaders God has give our church...

i can't believe my brain is still functioning. waking up at 8am to send someone off to NS and finding God along the way. NS men are actually quite nice. haha. you can ask me more about it when you see me... i have a long and funny story about my NS experience to tell. but it's all good. it's all worth it to win his hear for Christ (:

holler, holler.
my eyes are falling shut.
Cg tomorrow will be 2.0!
looking forward to egg sandwiches tmr...

fedora 2.0

2008-04-07T00:39:00.002+08:00

its 12.40am, and i get the rare time to blog a nice long post, so i hope.

version 2.0, it seems this weekend i have finally grasped the full concept of what 2.0 means. what it means for the church, for our Pastors, for the leadership, for the ministries.. what it means for me as a person. it's time for 2.0 in my life. fresh anointing, new beginnings.

the sweetness of everything, and every challenge that comes my way. knowing i can overcome it because someone much bigger than me will do the job.
it's about the anointing, about chasing the man of God, about hunger and faithfulness.
all these things are the things that make my life beautiful, a joy to wake up to every morning.
these, and that special someone...
the one who steals my heart,
and makes me come alive with His presence.
Him, of scarred hands and the ability to speak life to dead bones.

power, power indeed (:

i was just thinking how funny it is with God. Sometimes, when you really need something for the wrong reasons, He doesn't give it to you. But when you find yourself not wanting it anymore, it comes to you as a pleasant shock.
Then again, it's only at that time when our hearts are prepared and our characters at that level to handle it, to take it with maturity of the spirit.
That's why God is God, and i am not. hhahaha.

with more things to do in life, comes a time of molding and a time for mistakes. i won't be afraid because i want to learn and grow from them, and i know above it all my leaders will still love me. God will still be my father, till the end.
i feel excited just thinking about all of it.. even through my tiredness and apprehension and euphoria, some part of me remains calm and composed and buzzes with excitement at the coming things. A new level in ministry, in leadership, in my own walk with God.
the vision burns. the flame doesnt dim, the oil never runs out.
it comes from the holy spirit.

on a sidenote,
DEAR SAM, pls get well soon and take care. i will be praying for you, miss you lots! hahhhs (:

administration is slowly becoming my best friend in life =/ i am starting to wonder why God is doing this to me. if that's what it takes for 2.0, if that's what it takes...
hahaha.
i can't wait to dye my fading hair a nice rich gold colour.
trying not to think about the endless pile of work i need to get done by this week, otherwise my great tribulation will come much earlier than the rest of the world's.

hmmm, how God never fails to provide (:

2008-03-26T23:58:00.003+08:00

i'm actually blogging again, this is amazing. regular updates, what to do, my life is too happening (:
today, i went out with tanwensong, ongzhiyi(boss), darren and samm. our dear mel didn't come cos she was semibanned from going out due to her amazing walked-into-a-lamppost story. hehe. well, she seems much better now, YAYE.
anyway,
today was fun. we bought Remy Martin Rocye' chocolate (wensong & zhiyi never tried it before) and went to pastamania for lunch. ate first and the chocolate was super good. Just the right amount of cognac to make it good, ahahas. Waited for sam, and she came with ruffles. hehe. hung out and talked and chatted.

it was cool, for some reason it felt like were all old friends and we knew each other for the longest time, but we had just met 5 days before. hahas. thats the thrill of good company (:
we finally left to buy stuff to make mel's get well soon card and walked around build-a-bear.

we cabbed down to church, talked some more about life and church and just STUFF. hahas, managed to do up mel's card before choir.
choir was awesome, new gen meeting was a bit scary but good in the end (: learnt alot from the two sessions and i feel ready to inspire more schools. and a new page is coming, a new chapter.. secondary schools, no more JC!

last stop of the day was boonkeng, to visit mel and pass her the card. we arrived to the sound of cars whizzing past and the cool night air around us as we stood in the playground - sam, darren, zhiyi, wensong (who came running down) and me. oh, and ruffles too.
i loved how stunned mel was to see us , hhahs.
well, i hope she liked our card. it was MADE WITH LOVE .
hehhs.
followed the childcare gang to their old childcare, and was quite interesting seeing what kind of world they grew up in.
how our different environments make us who we are to some extent today. but then, there's always God who changes even that in our lives.

cabbed again with sam, and we picked up nicklee on the way back. the cab uncle was very funny, kept joking with us. today we met funny cab uncles. the morning one i caught to get to suntec was helpful. the one that took us to church was a MAN UTD fan YAYE. the one that took us home was friendly and funny. so we had good cabs today.
hahahas.

talked about nonsense and serious things with sam. told her some funny things.
i think i need to start learning the guitar again. even if not for my vision, for the cg cos we really need a cg guitarist.
so many things in my life right now, but i'll make time for it...
gonna go buy & sell a guitar tomorrow.
hahas, im proactive.
i have a vision.

pst lia replied my email. one sentence stuck with me.

vision gives you the discipline to live your life.

wow, pst, you rock (:

as ivan says, good nigth and good bye.

fedorawr HOGC 2 . 0 fe-sh! : me
`ZeewhY; You've been struck by, a smooth criminal. : zhiyi
♥.† Darren || Heart Of Others || Beginnings Of Leadership || FAITH || : darren
melissa9-1@hotmail.com : mel

our funny conversation about JAM(:

fedorawr HOGC 2 . 0 fe-sh! MSN 11:53
ahha we shld go jam one day

`ZeewhY; You've been struck by, a smooth criminal.
MSN
11:53
Yeah
11:53
!

♥.† Darren || Heart Of Others || Beginnings Of Leadership || FAITH || MSN
11:54
hahah!
11:54
remind me of the GXT worship video
11:54
that was a good jam man!
nonni walkes out with a jam bottle
`ZeewhY; You've been struck by, a smooth criminal.
MSN
11:55
haha

fedorawr HOGC 2 . 0 fe-sh! MSN
11:56
haha thats funny
11:56
yeah man
11:56
lets go jam someday
11:56
we will bring some jam
11:56
and eat jam bread
11:56
while we jam
`ZeewhY; You've been struck by, a smooth criminal. MSN
11:57
Hahaha
11:57
Yeah
11:57
Then we'll jam until there's traffic jam

fedorawr HOGC 2 . 0 fe-sh! MSN
11:57
and our printers got paper jam

melissa9-1@hotmail.com MSN
11:57
hahaahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahhahaha...
♥.† Darren || Heart Of Others || Beginnings Of Leadership || FAITH || MSN
11:57
wahhh
11:57
lol
`ZeewhY; You've been struck by, a smooth criminal. MSN
11:57
Hahahaha
11:57
Then we'll treat Sam to some peanut butter jam

*

2008-03-26T01:11:00.002+08:00

OUR GOOD FRIEND (the guy on the left)
haha this guy let sam sit down on the train. he is the few good guyd in the world!
we decided we should try to get him saved =/

parents are overseas in batam, so i have freedom for once in my life. caught a late night step up 2 with SAMM! shermaine bx and daryl (cut your hair please.) the show was good, the dance move were spectacular. the much hyped rain scene lived up to expectations. i liked the movie, it was good.

always wondered how dancers moved their bodies like that, i will never understand it. it's just something God gave them...
hahas.

travelled home with samm and had a lot of nonsense and talked about things with her.
suddenly thought of those times long ago when i was still young and i used to tell her everything. realised we have both grown older but im glad i can still talk her the same way... about EVERYTHING. lolls!
my leader, my friend (:
yea , we will grow b4 together. hahahaha.
i will try to like chilli crab if not i cant join sam and bx and daryl when they fo on their chilli crab outing =/

yo ho,yo ho.
ruffles watches movies for free.
dont worry sam, the guy on the train will get saved one day!
ohmygoodness...
senselessness.

2008-03-21T01:53:00.002+08:00

the harvest is coming in, it's time to work.

was reading Holy Discontent.
What is it that I can't stand, thats my calling in my life, my firestorm frustration.
its cool to think about how God uses anyone, simply because they refuse to be complacent.
it doesnt take ability, just a Popeye moment (:

the difference between us and the world becomes clearer each day.
going out with my classmate and talking to her about her relationship problems, about life and things in general,
was different, interesting and tugged at something in me.
this generation needs a change.
thank God she's coming for easter!

living on 3 hours of sleep, ad I'm losing my mind soon, ahha. But not yet.
B4 has a great harvest, we need to hold it -
prayer and sleepless nights.
whoaah :D

i love what i'm doing. wouldn't trade it.

2008-03-17T00:29:00.005+08:00

R E A L

I am who I am.
I am who God made me.

the deadliest attitude comes from consciously living a lie.

2008-03-06T00:27:00.002+08:00

Let me share with you something powerful I read today...

Prayer does indeed change things. It changes us. It strengthens our faith. It helps us see things through God's eyes. It softens our hearts. It sensitizes our consciences. It gives us superhuman courage. And it molds us into champions God can use.

How is your prayer life?

-Lester Sumrall, The Making of a Champion

reading that felt like a smack in the face.. it changed the way i saw prayer and how it affects me. its not just pray pray pray for things to happen, but pray pray pray to know God even more.
Those powerful words from the lips of a man who can't read or write, except for reading the Word of God.
Lester Sumrall, man of faith.
Hats off to him...he is truly anionted and a great man of God.
He is definitely one of the people i want to meet in heaven, haha.

Today was funny...
had dinner with the NG teamers and we were crapping.
Lisa wants to ride beside King David during the battle of Armageddon.
We told her to join the queue =/
And Christian wanted to ride next to Adam to whack him on the head.
LOL.
London is going to be CHAOTIC.

Anyway, heard from Lisa and KS about this book they saw in Tecman, a fiction book that talks about the whole story of Lucifer, Gabriel, Michael and Jesus like a story..
sounded really cool and we decided that we are going to get that book.
haha,
but first, i need to find out what it's called.
Tomorrow, I'm going shopping !

Lol. Sometimes, school seems to be like a totally different universe to me.
It's like going to another country, speaking another language.
It's hard to connect when people are concerned with the smallest things in life and when they keep telling you things to scare you into working hard.
It's so strange, and I get the feeling of growing up too fast sometimes.
I'm only 18 ok! hahaha.

PAYALEBAR is still the best!
Wonder what God will do in my life in twenty years. twenty months. twenty days. twenty hours. twenty minutes.. twenty seconds.
The thought excites me, that at least I got something to live for yea.
And Pastors and leaders who are like family, who always believe in me.

What more can I ask for?
The world can't offer me a thing!!

haha.

(on a side note, my room is very very cold)
=/

2008-02-28T01:08:00.002+08:00

Today, I wanna blog about two 2 people I've been talking to alot.

FAITH SIM

I love talking to you about everything under the sun, from Cedar, to EL, to designing cards to church and visions from God! haha.
wouldn't trade you for anyone else.
i see you doing great things in church one day... the media, publications,advertising.
God has something so much greater in store for you.
You rocks :D
i cant wait to see your blackgreeennn design for the b4 card...
sorry, no sergeant pepper this time =(

JIA EEEEENNN

hahaha PRETTY CUTE GIRL.
had so much fun today slacking around with you.
You and your trombone and your dreams of Heart Symphony.
i love how you have so much faith in God.
yea man, it dont matter what people say about you,
you are who you are, God made you! :D
love ya lots.
dont worry, that bible you want will be yours one day ;)

hehe.

yayyyyyye. Samantha's blogpost is amazing :D

wallpainting tomorrow.
back to the basics :D

2008-02-09T09:50:00.000+08:00

Watched this movie with my cousin and my aunt.
(it was between this and Sweeney Todd, and my cousin wasn't crazy over the idea of a singing Johnny Depp.)
It was a good movie, I must admit. a GIRLY movie, but a good movie nonetheless.
the soundtrack was great though, I may get it.

(bleep and donny)

This CNY has been quite different. Suddenly I feel much closer to my family.
Stayed over at my cuz's on Chu Er.
we attempted to marathon Bourne but we all decided to KO around 12 plus.
hehehe.

hmmm,
the difference between us and them is negligible, but it's there.
start to wonder what I would be like without God...
that alternative is scary.
well, i've learnt many things about how life is outside these four walls,
the danger of becoming cynical is close at hand
(twenty in two years man)
but somehow, i know i'll still be loving life even when I'm old and people give up their seats for me on the bus.

haha.

and we'll build a world class church
in a first world nation,
with the great, powerful presence of God.

grow,rely,give my best.

HOMEWORK
1. 2d : 2 A3 compositions (with paint), 4 A4 collages
2. 3d : 3 working joints (=/)
3. Drawing F : erm, cant rmb
4. Drawing D: sama sama
5. CCS : essay on idunnowhut
6. Check out watercolour techniques
7. Install my printer, for goodness sake x)

2008-01-28T03:27:00.000+08:00

MY responsibility.

its been a crazy week.
the bible says Jesus learned obedience through suffering.
it has to happen to us too.
but God is perfecting us.

HAHA!
its 3.30am and i feel like eating BA GUA.
chinese new year is coming.
im another year older. im 18,
isnt that so darn fast?

cant believe it, i dont feel that old o.O

hmmmm.
sometimes constructing your own future is really fun.
i want an apartment with orange walls and lots of food.
and a pet cat.
hoho.
(:

oh my gosh.
so random.

i wouldnt trade my life for another (:

2008-01-10T00:25:00.000+08:00

We have learned not only to pray, but we have learned how to live our lives in prayer. jesus commanded us to pray without ceasing. To those not interested in revival, this is impossible. If your heart hungers for souls to be saved and your nation to be turned to God, however, then the life of prayer is a must.

- PAUL Y. CHO, pastor of Yoido Full Gospel Church, biggest church in the world

*

this is a season of prayer, of warring in the spirit.
this is the dream team, flying in formation.
this is the time for growth, nothing will stop us.

i wouldn't trade my zone for any other zone.
my zone, my responsibility.

change ourselves first, then the world around us changes.
it starts with us us us.

2008-01-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

ROCK*STARS!

(fedora : bx : ian)

my newest music phase: [] TOKIO HOTEL

2007 is over. 2008 is here.
get into the mindset.

we are the difference that we want to make.

i think the power of prayer is amazing.
the biggest church in the world, pastor cho's church, is built on a foundation of prayer.
a life of prayer, always operating in the spirit, in faith.
the new year is a new beginning.
(a season of leadership)

flow with the vision.
replicate the heart.
fight with the dream team.

2007-12-26T09:59:00.000+08:00

in 1 year, everything changes.

in a few months, life explodes into something amazing.

who i am today does not recognise who i was half a year before.

not behavior alteration, but something from the inside out.

Jesus increase, I decrease.

No Jesus, no I.

2008 will be a year of difference.

the zone, the church, will only expand as much as we break limitations.

the war has started...

*

THE ESCAPE - by bx & me

2007-12-09T01:54:00.000+08:00

this is like some long long marathon and everyone's running together.
some faster, some slower.

up ahead, i can see a few people who are taking the lead.
turning to those beside me, we all decided to keep up with them.
but along the way, distractions got a hold on me.
perhaps they are flowers?little pebbles along the road?
and i picked them up one by one, adoring each and every single one of them.

before i know it, when i looked up again, i was lagging behind.
so i tried to catch up.but things i've picked up along the way held me back, weighed me down.
i threw some of the withered flowers away but the pebbles still held me down.
even then, i still constantly looked back at those flowers that i've thrown away, thinking how beautiful they once were.

i continue running but it seems that those in front are just way too hard to catch up with.
feeling discouraged, i've tried and failed many times.

but now, it is different.
it's time to just throw off every single pebble, every single flower.
even if i cant catch up with those in front, i'll run with those who are beside me now.
i'm going to give those who are ahead of me support, cheer them on!

at the end of it all, we're all gonna meet Jesus together.

-ruoen's blog

*

this is super powerful.

2007-12-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

Where can we find Pastors like our Pastors?

constantly amazed by their love.

2007-12-03T13:42:00.000+08:00

i am tired of the world.
tired of apathy, pleasure & glamour (image wihtout substance).

we need to do something;
we need to make the change.

if not us, then who?
if not God, then how?

2007-12-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

i came home today and found him sprawled like this and he made me LAUGH. HAHA :D

so cute.

hahaha thank God for my sheeeeep.

2007-12-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

HOUGANG SEC

you guys are the carriers of revival. i can see a whole generation rising up in your school.

small people + BIG GOD = BIG IMPACT

wee,joel,naomi.
you guys are awesome (:

2007-11-28T07:42:00.000+08:00

i realised that i like the feeling
of waking up early in the morning and
sitting at my desk, playing worship songs.

the atmosphere is so different from any other time in the day.

life without school really lets me know You more.

the season of work, the season to prepare ; the summer of our lives.
others can, i cannot.
we are breaking through!
we cannot be left behind in the revival that's going on around us.
the fire in our eyes, the anointing.

God, i want the fire in my eyes.

2007-11-21T03:55:00.000+08:00

power.presence.precision.

expand my capacity. do more, hold more.
be the best that you can be

God, you are my superhero.
with You i can do anything.
give You my 100%.

2007-11-14T01:14:00.000+08:00

what do you do when you hit the breaking point?
its not about breaking under pressure,
but the action which follows that moment of breaking.

when you battle against the darkness,
against words of death,
and enemies in the the form of the invisible.
it is not you who fights, but the one inside of you.
never back down.

He's on your side.

2007-11-12T03:44:00.000+08:00

a fighter inside.

never back down.

2007-11-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

Matthew 11:16-17

But to what shall I liken this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their companions,
and saying:

'We played the flute for you,
And you did not dance;
We mourned to you,
And you did not lament.'

crying out for a fatherless generation.

--
-
I LOVE AME (:

2007-10-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

FAITH

we say it like a slogan to live by.
the same way we say the pledge, sometimes.
( we the citizens of... )

we say it like a call to revolution.
the same way Stalin, Hitler, and Mao did.
( loyalty to the fatherland...)

we say it like a mantra, a golden rule to spiritual enlightenment.
the same way the people of the world hold to their religion.

FAITH; the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
it's eliminating CANNOT from your vocabulary.
it's born out of a love for people that will not be limited.
you are limited by your vision.

if you keep saying,
"i can't
it's impossible
no"
if you keep thinking in your mind of what you can or cannot do,

that's not faith.
faith has no limitations.
faith demands your all, and returns you infinitely in the supenatural.

faith is having a vision,
pregnant in the spirit.

2007-10-22T11:30:00.000+08:00

mondays are not very nice.
arrived an hour late for school (almost).
go me! =P

remembering what Ivan said on Sunday morning.
VISIONARY -
you gotta put the vision in your heart
pray and pray until faith makes you see and believe everything in the natural and supernatural.
have the end in mind.

(:

2007-10-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

i'm constantly surprised by You every day.
its's liek You're changing me and helping me along,
guiding my hand.

where would i be without Your love?

2007-10-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

now i know what it must have felt like.
state of super sianness now.

suddenly, i feel sad for people and how they live their lives.
i want to make sure i live my life right from now on.

How hard God's heart must break.

ONE PERCENT

2007-10-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

NAOMI'S 1% THEORY
states that everyone is born with 99%, and they need that 1% to make it.

FEDORA'S 100% THEORY
states that everyone is born with 100%, its whether the 100% goes to God or to men.

*

madness at 1.39am.
just finished my homework and im falling asleep over my paintbrushes.

check out the colours painstakingly mixed just the way bridget wants em.

-.-

rawrr.

Let me blog about Johnny.

Johnny lives in Indonesia.

Johnny is a Christian.

Johnny loves Jesus Christ.

Johnny flies 2.5 hours by plane every weekend

just to come to heart of God church.

Johnny is amazing.

Johnny makes me want to increase in spiritual hunger.

we're getting stronger every day

2007-09-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

hahaha!!
past few days has been AH-MAY-ZING (say it like Pastor Joakim & Pastor Ulf!)

well, had meeting with ivan on friday.
was awesome. presence of God came so strongly, i could feel my entire body tingling.
when we prayed, it was like the roar of a rising army.
a challenge from God to hunger!
God said:
PURITY. keep this word in your heart, because you will become a woman of purity. you will grow as you hunger for more of Me.
you are just like Jacob who wrestled with Me till daybreak,
whom I asked, "What is your name?"
now you know your name. though you walk with a limp, that limp will be a testimony to My hand in your life.

WHOA.super powerful la. God, you're just amazing man. haha.

EFFECTS! first time on Ops was fun, and i learnt alot alot alot.
realised how much effort and work goes into the running of the church,
and also how the whole ops is one big team -
we work together!
:D
haha. actually i made a lot of mistakes during service itself (was super scared of messing up)
but in the end it was good! i really give all glory to God for teaching me everything and showing me what to do.
all the nice effects? they came from someone more creative than me! :D

also learnt about the details.. must always be alert and make sure that you keep the people and Pastors in mind. Was hanging around castle after service and caught some of Melvin's discipleship. powerful seh!

"Sometimes I feel like I should explain myself when I get discipled, because it may not be my fault. But then why explain? I can just take it and learn form it and grow."

wah seh. power.

hahaha.
Pastor Joakim's sermons were super impactful!
learnt so much from it, got so encouraged by it.
its like the past few months all got summed up in one chapter,
and God is saying,
its time to move on to another level.

yea!
our cg is gonna grow. new people are gonna be planted. culture is gonna change. i have faith, not because someone said so, but because God said so.

100% fully surrendered to Him.
i will not flinch in the face of sacrifice.

2007-09-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

(havent done my colour grid)

EFFECTS. ops ministry rocks.

pastor ulf ekman:
"God says: Are you gonna listen to the circumstances or are you gonna listen to me?"

- i believe in miracles.
i will be a light in this world for You.

BORING POST

2007-09-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO.
i have decided to be like a normal blogger,
and blog about my boring old life
phase by phase! :D

today i reached school at the latest time in my history here at Lasalle
-9am sharp!
everyone was already in the basement, so i had to go down by my lonesome.
terrible suprise greeted me at the class table,
in the form of Red cosplaying as someone from D Grayman.
(complete with weird sandals) o.O

anyway,
had 2D which was fairly depressing in the form of colour wheels,
because i cant paint and i cant use a brush with normal motor skills.
but some colours turned out pretty okay
(now if only i could paint straight..)

had lunch at sunshine.
ripped off by the shop which gave me dumpling SKINS not dumplings
(total ripoff!)
haha.

then we had PPD
(usual fare, talking about 3D and its horror,
a little bit of complaining
sawn says he'll talk to leo (3d teacher from the netherworld..i mean lands.)

second break which we spent at the tauhuey stall
and talking on the grass patch.

IS was fun,
taking pictures of shirts to create a human greyscale.
then a few classes lined up downstairs,
and the IS lecturers went up to take photos of our humungous human greyscale.
kena jack by erzan as usual during IS.
(haha, tks erzan =P)
took a photo of sawn's haiR!xD

travelled around simlim tower looking for wire with Kelton Vanessa & Lana.
got to know Lana better, Kelton promises to make me an alien bag o.O
haha.
chatted with kelton on the way to serangoon (para para anyone??).
parted ways with him at central and went to finish up homework & do Joel's card at macs.
(GET WELL SOON UNCLE JOEL ^^)

after that, took bus mrt bus home
(around 9.45pm)
met meixin at the interchange!haha,
and we wanted to drink bubble tea on the way home, but the shop was shut by then.
walked back,
reached home at 10.30pm!
BLOGGING.

haha.that was my wonderfully boring day.now the exciting part..

PHOTOS :D

2007-08-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

SOMEBODAYYE KEEL 3D!!!!

have to finish the project by MONDAYYYE. thats like uberuber fast. rarrrh. stressed sia.
anyways,
during 3d today tania bib filzah and i went a bit mad..
&filzah came up with farny names.
suriya-biriya
kino-koni
fedora-ficardo

THANKS filzahh.
=P

3d is horrific man. so far 2 people have cut their thumbs due to poor usage of penknives (keeel artfriend).
hahas.

i am high.

i need coffee.

(why cant i get things right nowadays?)

wells, totally senseless post here just to updated on life in lasalle before i get consumed by work and this blog dies (which will be very soon i predict)
red taught me how to get this really cool effect with the digicam.shall try it out tmr.

okay, so some stuff about lasalle!

1) Place
super big. haha. i got lost countless times. sadly, firstyears are only limited to the basement studios where we do ALL our work. chairs are hard as STEEL, but apparently they're bringing in proper ones soon. oh, and theres no cafe so we gotta go to BK or simlim to eat, which costs major bazookas.

there's also fake grass where you can lie, slog away at your 3d, or just SLEEP on (:

place is generally clean and nice, if a bit bare at the moment.

2)People
QUIRKY to say the least. i have a great class though, compared to the rest. most of them are pretty old..19-20s. makes me one of the youngest. well, theres some things you gotta get used to, like smoking and drinking, cos well they ARE of legal age. haha. but other than that its just like JC in some ways. people are generally pretty cool, funny.. creative and whacky too. and yes, some of them are very mature in their thinking.

3)Work
IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. everyday its just drawing drawing drawing and *evilmusic* cutting up solids. haha. lessons are spent discussing star wars! lecturers look like students, and vice versa. you call them by their first names, and they joke around with you, eat with you.

oh,and did i mention the truckloads of drawing?

hahha yeas, lotsa differences.
but i'm pretty okay here, starting to adjust to the workload. think my art's improving too.

i believe i'm here for a reason (:

2007-08-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

the CUBE FROM HELL (which took me like FOREVAR to complete during 3D today)

totally bummed now. haha. EXHAUSTED man.
3D is hell (almost).
i predict myself sturggling to survive cutting up shapes for 3 hours.

the winds of change are blowing.
3 years time -
part of that generation,
serving the church,
loving God even more than today.

new ministry! :D

in the world, not of it.

2007-08-14T00:36:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY AT LASALLE <3

the greeen greeen (fake) grass

school building!

haha. more photos when i have the time to go around taking them.
well, promised naomi to post on it so here it is,
first day at la salle!

was chaotic. =x
must say it was quite disorganised... in terms of the running of everything.
but other than that it was okay.
felt like i'd grown up and went to uni too fast. its almost like a uni.. most people are older than me. all sorts of interesting people there.
at first i was super lost. haha. freaked out a bit because i didnt know what to do.
met up with kenneth and we wondered around aimlessly until
(yay!)
bumped into xinjie and elyn
then found ongah & bk later on.

finally united with more heart of God church ppl in the lecture room.
so the line up in LASALLE is
me, xinjie, bk, elyn, ongah & koon yewww.
(and they are all completely crazie)

so far, so good.

haha this school term sounds awesome.
well anyways, must really work hard now,
noth in school, ministry and in my spiritual life.
yea!
onwards!

2007-08-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

were you fooled?
think the best of people, not the worst (:

2007-08-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

i want to be part of that generation.
more than what this world offers.
a new chapter

closer to You

(heal my heart&make me clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything i have for Your kingdom's cause)

2007-08-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

rawrr!
haha.

had meet the parents today.
was ehm, quite disastrous. actually it was okay until my CT decided i should see my math teacher due to my err, atrocious marks.
yes, that was when it all went downhill.

(sings: and its all down hill from hereee...)

right.

well anyway, had to endure a lot of stuff.. not so nice stuff said, in my opinion.
but then again, if thats how it is then thats how it is.
been trying very hard past few weeks to catch up with all my work, esp math & econs.
i believe that i can pass everything,
and get promoted.
do my best, and pray pray pray.
haha!

due to extensive hours in school and loads of homework,
been hanging out with my class alot,
and feel like i know them better. which is good i guess.
haha.. they're a bunch of funny, retarded ppl! (:

yes, FOP tomorrow!
Totally been waiting for this day to come ALL WEEK.
hahaha. ESCAPE FROM SCHOOL.
oh gosh.
so exciting =x

right anyways,

SEE YOU ALL AT KALLANG TMR. WHOOT.
(:

hmm,
thank You for giving me so many things in my life (:

2007-07-28T09:40:00.000+08:00

i am FINALLY able to blog after one week of no internet =/

listening to David Garrett, (my dad bought his cd o.O)
i wonder if next time how our Orchestra will sound like
when they play at this standard.
music used for the glory of the One who created it.
mr Alvaro said,

"Music is beautiful by itself. But music used to the glory of God carries His anointing."

powerful! :D

well, i must say that i feel like i backslided! haha
mainly because my school ends at 6.30pm on Mon, Tues and Thurs.
and this means I will miss meetings and i have little time for outings.
so, yeas,
THANKS SAJC :P

its okay, i dont need church to keep me close to God.
He is inside of me!
la la la.

i think im so pretty,
because GOD made me ^^

2007-07-22T01:39:00.000+08:00

right now

He knows who you are

the light & the dark

He mends your broken heart

of a generation that live for Your name.

i love B4!

i love studying!

i love JESUS.

heehee.

Happy Birthday Pretty Boy JOEL :D

2007-07-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

You Are 32% Feminine, 68% Masculine

You are in touch with your masculine side.
You are not overly sensitive and not easily moved.
Occasionally, though, something will get through and touch your heart!

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

OH NO.
HAHA.

2007-07-16T00:01:00.000+08:00

(more photos when my phone decides to work)
hahahahaha.

i love B4.
im not an emokid.

20 hour study rule!

searchlights
burning bright -

here i am send me.

2007-07-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

Take a look at my girlfriend. hahhaa. yea man we need sy rogers.
okay PRETTY GIRLFRIEND, we will take SA together.
i can feel the atmosphere shift in our school.can you feel it too?

the Drag Queen Kenny!!!! :D haha i think he's gonna kill me.

i think the atmosphere in the room, when you play a worship song, and the air-con is on, and there's no one else at home, is definitely the best.
it's the atmosphere of being alone with God.
and just thinking about people who make your life amazing.

yea jc is getting hectic. suddenly there's a whole lot of stuff to do..homework, projects, presentations.
and then mrs tan got me and jill to be the J1 presenters for UK trip.
which means major preparation for presenting in front of the whole J1 cohort.
it has to be God's work, because i see no reason why she should pick me
firstly, my results leave much to be desired
secondly, i dont think im the best speaker
thirdly, i dont think i enjoyred UK so much either.

when i think of it from a macro view, i think it really is God.
right after we started putting the cards on lockers for youth day,
Tingwei got highest for H2 lit in the cohort,
and i have to do a presentation during assembly.
as if God is trying to push us out and show the school who was behind all these things,
and most of all
Who is the God that they serve.

hmmm, see, thinking in God's presence helps :D

I love You from the depths of my heart
And nothing here will tear us apart
Everything's beautiful with You
Everything's beautiful when You invade my life
And I'm living just to say, I love You

my life is like a chocolate marshmellow.
sweet, soft, colourful, child-like, enjoyable, sometimes hard to stomach, but always filled with LOVE.

hahaha. ( i am not changing to LJ, i am going against the flow =x)

2007-07-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

2 Timothy 2:2
1 You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 3 Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

i have great leaders.

i serve a great God.

2007-07-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE! with beautiful people.

Boxue doing something weird

chew's weird face :<

SAY NO TO EMO CAMPAIGN!

my retarded bestie who stole my cap

me and hannah !

bimbos inc.

me and NAOMICHAN

nutella, desiree and lalala ME :D

look at us, we're so pretty

the power to inspire a generation

2007-07-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hello my name is Fedora and i have a secret to tell you. A deep deep dark secret that nobody knows.... Except me..... Duh. I am.... An emo kid. Yes i know there has been rumours but this time i'm making it official. I'm an emo kid. There's no denying it.

Let me tell you my daily routine as an emo kid. For one, I don't sleep. I'm nocturnal and day-turnal 24/7. Thus, I have eye bags. Yes they are the epitomy of an emo kid. I haven't woken up since 3 years ago.

I can't tell you much but all i can say is that it hurts. It hurts real bad. Deep in here. Nobody understands me, nobody loves me. The world is against me. It's been versus the world. I cannot survive for much longer. THere is no meaning in life. I am living in a world of darkness. There is no light, no escape; everything is desperation. I love black. Black is good. I'm racist.

--
-

posted by YAP WEI CHIANG posing as me =P

[]

MY COLOURFUL LIFE IS FULL OF BEAUTIFUL PPL! :D

and sadly i can't upload any photos because the wonderful internet in my school lags :)
so photos of you beautiful B4 ppl will be up tonight (i hope)

i'm currently in school now. haha.
i love B4!
i love B zone!
i love my church and my Pastors!

different value systems - our worlds cant collide.
True happiness is found in the One who gives us life.

dont look for it in material goods & fame.

POLITICS WILL NOT DECIDE.

2007-07-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

don't despise us.
don't look down on us, because you're not radical enough to DARE to take the step of faith.

i say to you,

although you may despise for what we've done in our school,
i'd face up ten thousands of people like you,
for just ONE soul to know the love of Jesus Christ.

you have no idea what an impact a simple act like this can make.

SA - atmosphere change!

2007-07-03T22:19:00.001+08:00

Random Mess Shop

GO CHECK IT OUT. BUY STUFF. MORE COMING ! :D

i love my pastors!

2007-06-30T00:59:00.000+08:00

i am 17!

haha!
B4 breakthrough attendance - 26!
yay!

you guys are awesome. even though we had exams,
we still broke through!
no back outs.
lets pray up.

this is the best birthday ever,
because people are getting planted! :D

2007-06-09T02:13:00.000+08:00

well,
as pangchewtheng pointed out,
"fedora your blog die already"

so i am here to blog :D

well, its been hectic past few weeks.
firstly, there was pre-uk stuff where
it was planning planning planning
and inspiring and building.

then there was uk,
which i hardly enjoyed for the most part.
i was sick on one day
and i missed church and church people like mad
(because school people are just not the same)

and ever since i've gotten back
its been work work work!

Thanks to pearlene, i have acquired faith.
"eh fedora, b2 bigger than b4!"
"HAH.we will grow!"

i've always wanted to grow b4.
but last time, it was just a desire with no faith.
now, it feels like theres something inside
rising up
unwilling to give up unti this cg breaks through
this church breaks through.
something that goes on, pushes on,
even when im tired.
something that hangs on to God
(always and forever)

MAKE JERICHO CRUMBLE

&i'vefoundmyselfinYouJesus

its good to be back.
my life has a purpose.
that purpose is God,
and no one will change it.im going against YOUR flow :D

mumbley

2007-04-29T09:44:00.000+08:00

inertia carries you forward.
i suddenly feel like my life is seprated into two worlds.
church,
& school.

yesterday i went around singapore buying presents and stuff for people, and basically i just hung out with church people all day.
at night i went for college play (Love, Food & Babies -
- which was so so i guess).
and i realised that these two parts of my life are so different.
feels kind of quasi-real.

i really do miss church.
i miss having whole days to just go on outings, hang out with people, go for meetings,
and just SERVE God.
i realise that school for all its seeming colour and attraction
holds little meaning to me.
i'm really alive when i'm in the house of God.

CCA? council? scholarships? awards? fame? power? fun?
(or what most college kids call, "living life to the fullest")
who cares about these things,
when i can change lives.
(i'd give it up any day, any time)

i love my life already.
i don't need fame, fun, or recognition.
i have God (:

(iknewitbeforeyouevensaidso)

Ocean Avenue

2007-04-23T09:50:00.000+08:00

Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

There's a place off Ocean Avenue,
Where I used to sit and talk with you,
We were both 16 and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street,
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet,
We were both 18, and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

If I could find you now
Things would get better,
We could leave this town,
And Run forever,
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away, yeah.

There's a piece of you that's here with me,
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by,
I can make believe that you're here tonight,
That you're here tonight.

I remember the look in your eyes,
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight,
Not here,Not now.
We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
We'll be together for one more night,
Somewhere, somehow.

- - - - - -

wahaha. i'm in the comp lab in sch right now, having GP.
since i have finished my work,
i shall blog and clean up the cesspit of cyberdust right here on le bloggy (:
just had this song semi-stuck in my head.
haha i suddenly miss Yellowcard! shall go find the old album somehwere.
you know they use an electric violin? ^^

anyways,
just feeling bored now ahahaha.
i miss church already. again. as usual o.O

you know, i was just thinking,
what would i be like if i didn't find heart of God?
i can't imgaine my life without my spiritual family & home.
i think i'd be purposeless.

so, i really thank God for everything.
i thank God for my pastors & leaders (:
let's build this church. build build build.
i won't just support, i'll pour my life into it.
God is my life - my everything.
(ther e is no other)

(:

2007-04-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

the harvest is coming in.
the breakthrough is happening.
my ceiling's breaking.
something is moving in my life -

acceleration.

God, it's gotta be you.

my life is people, my life is Him.
i love every minute of what i do,
every minute of serving Him.
God;
break my heart with what breaks Yours.

the reason

2007-04-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

going for breakthrough.
faith?
definitely.

let's expand - B4 will grow.
let's get the people back.
i have faith for miracles - to expand.

it's time for war.
will you fight with Him?

fwruu

2007-03-29T22:17:00.000+08:00

haha! hellO
i think i should like updated this cesspit of stagnation xD
hmm. JC timetable in insanity.. 4.30,4.30,2.30,5,3.30 ...
still remember how i used to think going hom at like, 2 was already late as crap. now i finish lessons at like 5... uber tired by the time i lug myself home.
wahahas.
still, life is pretty fun i guess. more or less coping with the classes now. A06 isnt that bad i guess. still miss A08 (PAE) (:
anyways
played bball yesterday with sylvia nelson darren and jj. feel so sore now las..haha. we had PE before that so i guess was a bit too much. bball wad fun though. finally got off my butt and exercised. i feel healthier..next time shall go play bball with Jamies xD

went out with LOO and JAMIE to cut hair after sch today.. asked the santi guy to cut it slanted but it didnt quite work. haha, but im statisfied.

yes! cant wait for service this week. you know, i miss church even more now that school is in full swing. i really really miss the people, the atmosphere...
but i think
i'm gonna grow even more now.
God, this generation is YOURS (:

lalala MOO

2007-03-09T10:20:00.000+08:00

DANIEL FAST!

if i must be a COW, i shall be a HAPPY COW (:

kangkong rocks !

the anointing flows from the top.

we build the church, serve our Pastors and leaders first,

then we build our own teams.

as long as we are connected to the top,

carry the burden,

flow with the church,

we will grow.

what is on our Pastors hearts is on our hearts.

not breaking through is frustrating.

God i pray for breakthrough in the CHURCH,

in the ZONE,

in the CG.

i want to catch the vision.

i love You forever

2007-02-27T12:41:00.000+08:00

Artist: Hillsong United
Album: Look To You
Track: There Is Nothing Like

Father true and merciful
Bound to me with love
Adopted in free from all sin
Jesus Saviour glorified
Your offering none could give
I stand before You humbled and in awe

And all
To You God
For all You are to me

There is nothing like
There is nothing like
Your Love.. Your Love

Holy Spirit gift of God
Teach my soul to soar
Train me in Your Holy ways
oh Lord

I love you forever
I love you forever
I love you forever Lord

- - -

i have seen,
where the deficiencies of men fail
God makes up for all of it (:
truly, He is what the world will never take.

so this is all the devil has to throw at me?
so this is the kind of thing you think will stop me?
think again.

i'm going onwards. i'm pressing forward for my high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
you think this will stop me? do you seriously, devil? (:

i'm gonna make things happen and make you regret!

caffeine

2007-02-22T01:57:00.000+08:00

haha, this is what happens when i drink coffee at twelve am.
i can't sleep.
tomorrow is going to be a fun but long day, haha (:

i think that my life is exciting!
every day there's something to do, someting to learn, something to change.
sometimes i wonder, if i didn't have God, where would i be?
aimlessly wondering life, i think.

His love is still the greatest (:

CNY

2007-02-18T18:23:00.000+08:00

ahahah.
i am just bored at the moment. at my cousin's house. waiting for them to finish cooking. hahahah.
i spent the whole day watching Heroes with my aunt and cousin.
That show is super nice!

anyway, feels so weird to be at home on a Sunday. it feels like a weekday that i ponned. =x
i miss church! hahahaah.
okays
tomorrow i will be more productive (:
filler post!
laters (:

2nd post in 2 days (:

2007-02-11T10:10:00.000+08:00

haha, mm i'm back.
i am blogging because i feel like blogging. there's no other reason.
just started thinking just now.. so felt like i should just blog out everything.

let's talk about school.
i think i really should thank God for my class. yes, its true most of them are christians already, but they're really nice people. on fire people.
it feels good to be able to connect.
it occured to me that there are probably really few of such people in SA,
so i'm thankful to have a great class like A08! (:
and my CTs are nice people too. they're really understanding and everything.
it's kind of uber different from Cedar.

anyways! V-day is coming..means it's time to take SA! (:
our plan will be carried out muahaha =x

you know
i really am happy i have Jesus in my life.
where would i be without him?
i know that beyond the ministry, beyond the work, beyond the fun and routines
it's all about Him.
even if i have noting at all, i still have Him (:

that's enough for me.
how about you?

update!

2007-02-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

hellos!
i haven't died (i think)
so stagnant on this blog. been busy.
just realised that i need to juggle life better if not everything will fall apart.
sometimes thinking of it can get me a bit down.
time management and planning!!

anyways. THANK GOD for my results - 10 points (:
okay im happy i can stay in SA.
hahas.
i kind of wish i got a single digit score, but its okay i guess.

i need to build my spiritual life more. i just feel like i'm hitting this major ceiling recently. i feel dry and tired... until today i managed to push myself to do more.
like how samantha says as leaders we need to keep evluating ourselves.
i'm evaluating myself and i'm finding there are many things i need to change, and fast.
i remember this line Pastor said before,
to God a heart of fire,
to others a heart of love,
to yourself a heart of steel.

feel like that should be the way i live my life form now on.

hello world!!

2007-01-23T11:43:00.000+08:00

HAHA.
i finally have time to blog oO
doing tutorials now, (or supposed to be)
because,
i overslept and therefore am at HOME! (:

just thought i should show some signs of life here.
haha! jc is like the most terrible thing ever!
not really la, its just exhuasting for no apparent reason.
but it's quite fun too i suppose, and a bit different.

i'm praying for a harvest in my school!
my heart really goes out to the people in SA.
so many of them call themselves Christians, and maybe they probably do love God,
but then they are getting into relationships like nobody's business
(and they do it just for fun)
they aren't radical for God
(although they are in SFC)
they're lukewarm, dormant.

like what Pastor said, latent heat waiting to explode into 100 degrees - boiling point!

church and God to them are just like routines (bad routines)
there's no purpose in their lives
no knowledge that they have a great destiny in God.
(jaded?)
just like me, once, i guess.
we need to make things happen in this school!!

yes, those are just my thoughts these past few weeks.
i miss church, and the atmosphere it has.
okay, better start on my tutorials so i can do my admin later!!

accelerate!!

an update

2007-01-07T12:36:00.000+08:00

i haven't died!
jc life is hectic, but i''m gonna work hard and breakthrough this season in my life.
(:

i love my Pastors and leaders.
God is even more amazing. i missed church lots since school started, and getting back into that atmosphere was just so great.
anyways,
let's all build this church together.
we are a team! yeah! (:

2007 - it's gonna be AMAZING

hee

2006-11-27T08:36:00.000+08:00

it is not often that fedora ee dies on her laptop.
unfortunately, this phenomena occured recently ie yesterday night!
lol!

i got back from youth camp many days ago,
and i feel like a totally different person.
i've grown from this camp. i've learnt many things about God, and i've made many awesome friends.
(SAINT JOSHUA)
and i love my life even more.
leadership can be tiring, painful and frustrating at times, but the love for people always keeps you going.
like how Pastor said, Jesus saw the potential in the 12 disciples and even though they had such little faith and would not even blieve it was Jesus who stood before them, He still had faith that they would be great impacts in their generation.
Jesus could see in the spiritual.
it really inspired me to do the same.

this past week has taught me a lot of things.
like how fake friends from the world can be (after 2 years of so-called friendship)
but i would give up anything for God - even my friends.
i have greater things to do in life! (:

let's all continue to pass down our church culture. don't let it die off.
we cannot afford to be like the world - don't lose the culture of Heart of God church! it's precious!
(:

^^

2006-11-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

back to having a life!
i'm loving it! rising to new levels. breakthrough. time to grow. time to plan.
INSPIRE!

YOUTH CAMP! (:

lol!

2006-11-13T12:07:00.000+08:00

my best friend is coming to SG on 22nd nov! (:
so exciting ah. haha. i haven't seen her in more than a year i think.
yea man, o's ending this thurs!! wootzors.

i love my life. you know why? because i have God! haha! ^^
and i know that no matter what, i'm gonna overcome, because He lives in me.

i live - i don't exist.
&i believe in You-

fight; and I'll fight with you - and for you.
(cause if even if you don't believe in Me, I believe in you)

humdrum.

2006-11-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

Far away, I feel your beating heart
All alone, beneath the crystal stars
I'm staring into space, what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

Larger then the moon, my love for you
World's collide, as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

noticing things, i guess. beautiful song.
just had emath today. my brain is like. in stasis. seriously scary.
now i know what zombies feel.
;_;
hmm, can't really think right now. actually i'm not so sure why i'm blogging. haha.
i just can't wait to go church tomorrow and breathe in the wonderful air and atmosphere. i realise that the only place i feel safe and happy is heart of God - my home. i mean, not that i don't like my own home, but i know that even in my darkest troubles and hours, i can always go to church and i'll be okay over there.
yes! it's my spiritual home, with my spiritual family (:

time passes fast. haha.
hmm, i've been thinking a lot the whole week. maybe it's because of exams, so you kind of start thinking about things when your mind feels empty because you poured out everything during a two hour paper. haha. been putting things into perspective and shifting things around. like you know, spring cleaning except in your mind? the shelves of my cerebral vortex are extremely dusty, i must say =x

can't wait for end of o's! 6 more days (:
then i will be free to go out on outings! talk to people! make things happen!
yeah, can't wait. and i doubt i'm going to japan/korea anymore. actually, i don't really want to. haha.
oh wells.
this post is so meaningless man. i'm just posting because i'm too tired to do anything else right now. i'm hungry. feel like eating chicken. SIGH.
haha.

YOUTH CAMP IS COMING ^^

kena agaiN!!! BY NAOMI SEOWW!

2006-11-09T09:20:00.000+08:00

ahya. i kena again. by guess who.
(whispercoughNAOMIcoughcough)
^^

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

- I like orange glitter!
- I am studying the distribution of wet rice in asia right now
- I've read 11 out of Shakespeare's 37 plays. T_T
- I wanna learn how to snow board
- I love brit rock
- I like musicals and plays and movies ! (:
- I can start spouting weird quotes after studying Lit

7 THINGS THAT SCARES ME
- Losing my freedom
- Heights
- Nightmares
- cockroaches!
- bad grammar (it can get REALLY scary okay)
- disappointment
-

7 FAVOURITE MUSIC AT THE MOMENT
- Iris; Goo Goo Dolls
- I write Sins not Tragedies; Panic! at the disco
- Pick it Up; Planetshakers
- Lose Control; Rapture Ruckus
- Rain Down; Planetshakers
- Transylvania; Mcfly
- God of Wonders; Third Day

7 PEOPLE I FANCY
- GOD (:
- Tom Felton/Draco Malfoy
- Se7en
- Hyde
- Jake Gyllenhal
- L
- Artemis Fowl

7 THINGS I SAY MOST
- like whatever man
- it's like,
- haha right
- yo yo sup man?
- be a man! do the right thing!
- i tell you ah..
- so erm yeah

7 PEOPLE TO DO THIS
i spare the world of this evilness.

back to mugging geog! haha. 7 more days!! (:
can't wait for saturday. time to go to church! yay! i miss church!
feel like i'm in exile.

whatever.

2006-11-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

ITS SO FRUSTRATING.

like everytime i have spiritual breakthrough in my life, the devil always comes and tries to get back the ground i have won.
i feel like just telling him to go and die!
it always happens on the treshold of breakthrough,
and it always happens near my exams.
what is the devil trying to do?!

i'm not going to get discouraged.
i'm not gonna be angry,
i'm NEVER GIVING UP.

you did it once to me devil, and i fought back.
if you do it again, i will MAKE YOU REGRET.

(i'm not your dog. stop blaming things on me; you've been doing that since i was small. i've had enough.
can't you just realise your own mistakes, for once.
i feel like i have no free will around you. go and i go. stay and i stay. shut up and i shut up.
well, silence is my greatest weapon now.)

i will not be small like you.

-

God; i thank You for today.
i thank You for everything you've done for me;
I will never stop running my race.
my faith is in You (:

thank You, for BREAKTHROUGH-

(:

2006-11-03T03:57:00.000+08:00

you ask me how
how i can be sure
how i know it's not just something else for fun
cos He's so real,so real in my life
He picked me up and turned my universe around.

Jesus came in, He came into my life,
and i know, i never felt so good

cos everything's changed; everything is different (:

hurr

2006-10-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

i have decided to blog because
i have nothing else to do! haha.
the internet is so boring. i wonder how i was able to survive last time with no life and living on the net every day =x

anyways! i am at a funeral now, and somehow i managed to hack into a connection so yes! i have internet! xD
CG today was good. really refreshing; i totally miss all those times in CG.
can't wait for o levels to end!
can't wait for all the exciting things to start. it's coming soon! a time of growth and breakthrough.
gonna keep praying and keeping myself strong in God
awaiting the time for BREAKTHROUGH!

O levels, i will conquer you! amen!

haha.
can't wait for service. so tired now. i managed to ton yesterday! hopefully i can ton tonight, even though it will be supe rlate by the time i get home from the funeral. hurr.
so depressing! i want to stay in church longer! i love church! yay!
hahaha.

okays
feeling weird now. i think i will sleep a while. haha.
laters!

i love my life!!!

tagged. again

2006-10-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

One. Think of 10 interesting things about yourself, they've gotta be true.
Two. Think of 5 false things about yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

1) I used to have long hair.
2) I have a britney spears album.
3) I like glitter.
4) I have broken a bone before.
5) I have studied 8 hours straight before.
6) I have been wrapped in toilet paper as a mummy before.
7) I used to make fake swords.
8) I have migraines.
9) I had dengue before.
10) I like orange chocolate.
11) I had a dog before.
12) I have never dyed my hair before.
13) I have never won an essay competition before.
14) I can roll my tongue
15) I own a dress.

5 ppl will have to do this!
-
-
-
-
-
no idea xD
==

thon!

2006-10-18T06:01:00.000+08:00

TODAY'S DEVOTION 17 OCTOBER
The Father Wants to Give You Whatever You Ask

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
John 15:16

Jesus refers time and time again to the topic of prayer and answer to prayer. The world is full of people who pray. People of all religions pray. It is not prayer in itself that is interesting but rather the fact that God answers prayer. Jesus tells us how prayer answer comes. He says, “Whatever you ask in My name.” The key is His name. It is the name of Jesus, because of what He has done, that enables God to answer the prayers of His people.

But other requirements are also mentioned in this verse. We cannot merely pray for anything in whatever fashion. We must know and live in His will. Jesus says that He has chosen us. He has determined that we should go. He has determined that we should bear fruit. So we must acknowledge and respond to this call. We must get moving; we must go out and do what He has asked us to do. Then we will be fruitful.

When these conditions are met Jesus promises we can ask whatever we want and we will receive it. In obeying our calling, in working toward bearing fruit we need unlimited answer to prayer. Therefore, Jesus assures us that we can ask whatever we want. If you do not believe your prayers will be answered, examine your attitudes. Search your heart and see if you are where you ought to be. Disobedience in your life renders this verse invalid. The promise of answered prayer is for those who have responded to the call to go out and bear fruit.

- Ulf Ekman

------------

it's time to harvest; i will be fruitful. i am called to bear fruit!
there's gonna be an explosion - souls saved, people's lives changed, leaders rising up.
taking the o levels, doing His work. keeping things tight.
PRAYING - 10:10 (:
can't wait for the growth. it's so exciting.
i have faith in the name of Jesus.

(:

2006-10-16T11:37:00.000+08:00

haha! the toilet is such an amazing place (:
i randomly picked up this magazine and read this article, and it really inspired me, especially on that day when i needed faith.

God Put a Dreamer in You
Rev Kenneth Copeland

I charged down to Beaumont full of hope and enthusiasm. I'd been dreaming of preaching to thousands so I was expecting a landslide. But what I found when I got there was a mess. A flue epidemic had hit the church and the first morning the only ones who showed up for the meeting were the pastor, his wife and two other people. The next meeting two more people showed up.

At first, I let that get to ne. I let it cut off my dream. But after I spent some time in prayer, the Lord showed me 1 Peter 5:6-7: "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."

I saw it. I had to roll all the care of the meeting over on Him. Carrying the care was killing my dream. The care said, "There's no hope of you having a meeting here." But faith said, "I don't have a care. I'll preach whether anyone comes or not. That's what I'm called to do -- preach the Word. Period!"

I got back on my feet again. I decided the first thing we needed to do was get these people healed. So the pastor and I took our anointing oil and went out praying for the people. Every one of them got healed, except for one man who just refused to get out of bed.

The next service, I went in and preached like there were 15,000 people there. I preached all over the room. I preached up and down the aisles. There were still less than a dozen people but I was shouting the victory like the place was full. As I remember, there was one sinner there and the rest were believers, but that one sinner got saved. As far as I was concerned, that was 100 percent success -- we were having a landslide!

Afterward, somebody said, "That poor preacher hasn't ever been to seminary. He's so dumb he doesn't know the difference between a landslide and a flop!"

He didn't realize that I was a dreamer. He didn't know that while I was preaching, I was seeing that place full. I was seeing people crowded in until they were hanging out the windows. Before the week was out, that dream had become hope... that hope had clothed itself with faith... and the building was literally running over with people. It only held about 130, and by Friday night they had to raise the windows so the people outside could hear. We stayed and held two servuces a day for 21 days. It was glorious.

That was almost 40 years ago now, and I've been dreaming Holy Ghost dreams ever since. I've spent my life preaching that Jesus is Lord to multiplied thousands and flying from the top of the world to the bottom and all the way around. Over the yeas, my dreams have gotten bigger -- and I'm not finished yet.

"Yeah, but Brother Copeland, that's just you. You're a dreamer."

So are you, my friend. If you're a born-again believer, God has put dreams inside of you, and He's given you a servant called faith to bring those dreams to pass.

So stir yourself up. Stir up your divine imagination and reach out into the heavenlies. Immerse yourself in the Word of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit and dare to dream the dreams He gives you. Bring your hope to a higher level by declaring the Word, and keep meditating that Word until your hope is clothed with faith, and that faith reaches into the realm of the spirit and makes your dream a reality.

Don't let fear or past disappointments hold you back. Plant your dream like a mustard seed so it can grow up and become greater than the impossibilities in your life. Plant it so it can grow up and become a source of blessing, encouragement and support for others.

God is waiting for you to dream. The people you were born to bless are waiting for you to dream. So don't let the devil stop you.

graduation '

2006-10-14T21:06:00.000+08:00

and i thought today wouldn't make me sad. =x

well, i don't know how else to start. Graduation Day - i'll never forget it.
everything went according to plan, but i think what was really touching was what mr goh did for us. he wrote us all a card with our class photo inside, and put it inour testimonial envelopes. right after we got our testi, we read it. i was super touched. yepps. i realised that he really did so much for our class, taking us from our terrible state of mind and giving us confidence and pushing us to work harder and believe in ourselves. no teacher ever bothered about us, but he did.

then we sang Because You loved Me and other songs on stage. Sherry started crying and basically a lot of people broke down. I was really sad, but it's like a sweet kind of sadness. I wanted to enjoy my last day in cedar.
after saying our goodbyes, taking lots of photos with come teachers, i left to walk around the school alone.

started thinking a lot as i walked down the corridors. absolutely no one on the sec4 level, so i was in solitude. haha. it was nice - nostalgic. i would never step on to that level again. it was the last time i was going to be officially a student of Cedar Girls' sec. last time i would be crapping with my friends in class.

on the way to meet the others at the foyer, i went up to our prayer spot and prayed for a while, one last time. then i left in a state of melancholy! haha. not really. just was in the middle of thinking.

SA open house was pretty okay, but uneventful. yepps. service was really good. it fit what i was feeling, like God had planned it.

so i came home.
watched the video mr goh did for us.
and now i feel nostalgic again! haha.
i love 4zedd.
we came so far together. yepps.
time passes too fats sometimes. haha.

but yeahs, i thank God for a great life.
(:

(this post is like so random las)
thanks mr goh -

goodbye cedar `

2006-10-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

&today, i am feeling wistful, reminiscent, nostalgic.

officially, today marks my last day in Cedar.
it's so strange - four years have passed so fast. feels like just a while ago, i walked into my sec1 classroom, totally clueless, and got immersed in culture. feels like just a while ago that we trained under the scorching sun in ridiculous costumes for National Day. seems like just an eyeblink away, me and alethea tlaking about anime in the canteen whilst drinking lime juice one afternoon.
seems like just a while ago..
just a while..

i was 13. now i'm 16.

the hallways of the classrooms i walked along everyday. i will wak along them one last time tomorrow after Grad. but today, today is officially the end of my life here.

i've grown a lot. i've changed a lot.

trainings in rain or shine - the gym and the javelin and the discus - drills with broken cones.
extra lessons after school - sun blaring down during jogging as we complain.
the chill of 3zed classroom - dreams of coffee machines - the dusty cushions - holes in the floor - smuggling food every day - the judgement panel - pringles cans - meaningless fun about jrock & anime & manga & chinese serials.
mugging for o levels - mutual stress and insanity - the bigness of the windy classroom - mr goh trying to salvage our class - maria and i and the guitars - smses under the table - talking nonsense with cynthia/sherry - the piano with joy.
all the things i love.
all the people and friendships i treasure.
it suddenly hit me -- i made some friends whom i really treasure and whom i will miss.
it's so weird, not to see them ever again.

i suppose, i can't say i hate my school. i mean, there are things i don't like about it, and at some point i might think it totally sucks. but well.
i guess i do love my school.

and i love 4zed too.
i realised that i wouldn't ever hope to be in any other class.
we've been through a lot together - good and bad.
some of my best memories and funnest times happened here.

but yes. i've grown. i'm not the same girl who came in, innocent 13.

graduating class of 2006 - we're explosive.i love my school, i love my class, i love my friends, i love my life.

thank you God, that you've blessed me with these people in my life (:

marathon =x

2006-10-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

i am studying till 4am today!
dear God, PLS KEEP ME AWAKE HAHA.
xD

i have..lots of math papers to look forward to. but nevermind! AE! (:
workworkwork!