stars

school has started! it's costing me a lot of money and that kind of annoys me.
so far these are the stuff i've had to get:

chest for keeping paints safely - $68
sketchbook - $15
pen knife - $2.75
Georgian oils - $21.40 + $22.50
acrylic paper A3 - $13.16
oil brushes - $8.76
huge bag - $47.90 (my current one broke)

stuff i still need to get:

cabinet - $64 (i need it and i'm going to save and pay for it myself cos i refuse to take money from my dad!)
more oil brushes - $20
white acrylic - $3.35
photographs to be printed - $4
canvas - $6
gesso -$?
stretcher -$?

it's expensive being an art student. i think i should really try my best to buy the cheapest stuff around. at least then i'll stop sapping money from my parents. roar. expensive...
haha.
okay so school has been tiring. it saps my energy!
today is the first day i'm still alive at the end of a school day, and today has been the most productive one so far.
i have been living on 3 hours of sleep and i think i'm getting used to this.
odd sleeping hours is not problem...
school just feels so weird right now.

it's the people, the atmosphere, the way things are done, the spirit of the whole place.
it's so different. i feel frustrated and uneasy in school even though there's nothing wrong. it's strange i think, and maybe i'm thinking too much but hey.
i really miss church. i can't wait to go tomorrow. i'm gonna really plan to go for more prayer meetings next week, maybe the 8-9 ones.
just standing in church makes me feel at ease. it feels like a weight has been lifted off me when i'm there.
school... its pulling me down. i like the new place, the new course, the people are nice.
but there's just something that bothers me... there's not point of contact. i feel like i'm in a different world and i'm fighting every day to remain strong in my values and who i am and the God i love.

we are the difference we want to make. us. it starts with us.
I had a revelation recently on the power of our purpose in God.
Jesus says we are the light of the world, salt of the earth. If we lose our flavour, what use is there? If we hide our light, who will see God in this time of darkness?
It's our job to bring God to the nations. We are to glorify Him in all that we do ...
the light and th salt.

that's what i have to be. that's what i want to be.
idealistic, passionate, convicted and Christ-like.

wash it off in His presence.

Threw the stars ;6:27:00 PM